I was at a special church service once, something with an international theme, and they were passing small pieces of bread round with salt - apparently there's a Polish custom of welcoming people into your home with bread and salt (at least I think it was Polish) so that's why. The thing that tickled me was when I heard someone sitting near me ask someone else: so, are we meant to eat it now?
Okay, to be honest I can see very well now why she might have asked, because probably the only similar experience she'd had in a church setting was when we receive the bread of communion, and then the custom is to eat it only after a prayer has been said.
But at that moment I'm afraid I burst into giggles. Because the Israeli part of me was thinking: of course you're meant to eat it, what do you think it's for? decoration?
The thing is, in Israel we do hospitality in a slightly different way to the Brits - if you come to someone's house, coffee is pretty automatic and there will always be something edible, but the edibles will be placed on the table without a word, and the assumption is that you can see it's food and you don't have to be told what to do with food.
Whereas the Brits are brought up not to touch food until they're offered it. So I have to keep reminding myself when I have friends round - don't just plonk the plate of biscuits down, offer the biscuits! Because otherwise the polite Brit can spend hours sipping politely at their cup of tea and ignoring the tempting biscuits, and leave my house thinking: how awful, she put those biscuits there in full view and never offered me one!
Okay, to be honest I can see very well now why she might have asked, because probably the only similar experience she'd had in a church setting was when we receive the bread of communion, and then the custom is to eat it only after a prayer has been said.
But at that moment I'm afraid I burst into giggles. Because the Israeli part of me was thinking: of course you're meant to eat it, what do you think it's for? decoration?
The thing is, in Israel we do hospitality in a slightly different way to the Brits - if you come to someone's house, coffee is pretty automatic and there will always be something edible, but the edibles will be placed on the table without a word, and the assumption is that you can see it's food and you don't have to be told what to do with food.
Whereas the Brits are brought up not to touch food until they're offered it. So I have to keep reminding myself when I have friends round - don't just plonk the plate of biscuits down, offer the biscuits! Because otherwise the polite Brit can spend hours sipping politely at their cup of tea and ignoring the tempting biscuits, and leave my house thinking: how awful, she put those biscuits there in full view and never offered me one!
1 comment:
great article! i'm trying to imagine what the typical american expects. i think most people would expect to be offered, while some would dig in without asking.
i always know when someone feels like a close friend to me when they come into my house and treat it like their own (eating the food without being offered, etc.) They may still ask, "can I eat this banana" just to make sure that it's not being saved for something. But there's an implicit, "I know I'm allowed to eat your food. I just want to make sure this particular thing is available" in there.
Post a Comment